Anxiety in Streaming and Other Reasons Why I Stopped (For Now)

So I've started streaming regularly again recently -- moved to Facebook Gaming from Mixer last month before the whole Microsoft - Mixer mess last week -- after noticing both fellow casual female streamers I personally know, as well as popular ones like Alodia Gosiengfiao, officially made the move from Twitch to FB Gaming. 

This was originally posted back in July 1, 2020. Edited and updated now 7/19/2022: After just half a year of streaming on Facebook, I quit. Decided to focus more on Youtube when it comes to long-form videos (I might stream there soon, though I prefer uploading normal edited ones since they generate better passive income than streaming), as well as Youtube shorts and IG Reels for short-form videos.

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Since I'm still new in live streaming (started in Mixer but only did it for about a week or 2 last December), been expecting just 0 concurrent view, and a total of 1-2 views in my VODs there in FB Gaming -- 1 for myself, and probably the occasional 1 other view from my S.O. if ever he gets interested in seeing the raw unedited form of my Youtube videos (and cringe harder).

Anxiety in Streaming

So, you know, just treating this streaming thing really casually and not so seriously...

But, oh boy.

Omg. This is WAYYYYY better than I expected! Update 7/19/2022: I believe this was the case because FB was pushing livestreams before. Now they push more meme-ish content aside from their own Reels, and they limit the reach of Pages now to force Page owners to run ads. 

Pfft.

Bye.

I don't stream there anymore now so I dunno if I can still pull off these numbers (or my numbers when I started growing a few months after this -- see? I didn't even have time to update this blog back then. That's how stressed I was lol).

But based on streamers I see who continued to consistently go live there, the trend of their views is all down, and they basically just stagnated in terms of followers.

I really feel bad for them, especially some of them I had a blast playing with before and I badly want them to grow too. But I'm not in any position to give them advice, especially despite them being consistent, they might just be treating streaming as a mere hobby to chill from their normal job, unlike most content creators who treat this as a business, if not side-income.

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Plus, I haven't earned a single cent from streaming itself so far. But that isn't really what I'm after (believe it or not). I have a different business model in mind, with my FB Gaming page serving mainly as backup copies of my gameplays for my Youtube edits + marketing channel for both my blog and Youtube channels.  Update 7/19/2022: While I'm very grateful to my viewers who donated stars during my streams -- I earned a total of $200+ which was really cool especially to think I was still new, this is purely from donations alone since the livestream ads feature was invite-only basis at that time -- Facebook wasn't a great place to store backup copies of my gameplays. 

Once you're out of FB's Level-Up streaming program after not streaming for more than a month or 2, and your streams contain non family-friendly content (i.e. shooters and horror stuff because in my case, I played World War Z, Call of Duty and Dead by Daylight), they delete them off the platform without you even notifying about it first hand.

I literally cried about that because I had so many great memories with those awesome people I streamed with.

This is why I prefer Youtube and Google in general. At least they're more professional about these things and know how to better communicate with people.

Hopefully, I convince them to switch over to Youtube lol!

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Right now Youtube seems to be an ok place to store stream VODs. Most Twitch streamers use Youtube as backup for their stream VODs as well. But since Youtube is now pushing more gamers and Twitch streamers to come over as alternative to Twitch and FB Gaming, and Youtube ad revenue in Q1 2022 wasn't great, I dunno how long Youtube is gonna be this generous with its "space" for VODs. 

I just discovered LilyPichu through Youtube Suggested videos and I'm so happy that more Twitch streamers are moving over to Youtube! She's into music and lo-fi niche as well like Harris Heller.

So the best way to store VODs that I couldn't edit right away is either to finally invest on having multiple hard drives installed or a handful of external drives ready to plug-in.

Or both.

But I'm witnessing some untapped potential here in FB Gaming. So now I'm starting to consider streaming regularly. Update 7/19/2022: Planning to experiment with streaming on Twitch and Youtube some time soon because based on observation and analysis of other streamers, those platforms are still better in the long run compared to FB Gaming and other smaller livestreaming platforms out there I've secretly checked out but I don't want to talk about lol -- more about Twitch and Youtube streaming in a future post once I stream more regularly and compare results myself. 

But overall, I still prefer to focus more again on normal edited videos (both long form and short form -- that goal has not changed) than streaming.

Anyway, I discontinued my planned Streamlabs font guide. You can directly refer to them here in Google Fonts instead.

You can filter according to popularity or trend, and also categories and properties.

Update 7/19/2022:

Why Did I Stop Streaming?

There's this nagging general anxiety I regularly experience while streaming on FB before -- the more followers you get, the greater that constant worry about whether you'd have good concurrent views over time.

There's also the pressure to play more popular trendy games instead of games you actually enjoy playing to avoid losing momentum. I tend to have some balance by playing both -- 50-50 -- to cater to both new viewers who discovered me in popular games (i.e. Free Fire and Call of Duty Mobile at that time) and also to older viewers who discovered me (and carried me a lot -- thank you!) through not-so-popular niche games like World War Z, Dead by Daylight and Sims 4.

Aside from that, here are other issues I faced which prevent me from regularly streaming on the side (at least for now) so I can focus more on having consistency in uploading normal edited videos (and even blog posts like this) first:

1. Addiction Issues

I have a strong 'addict' personality -- which I manage to curb or control if it's just me playing solo. 

But playing with other people?

Oh no... It's hard to stop.

This is why I stopped playing MMOs (aside from most of them being pay-to-win lol)

It's like in most parties I've been to.

Having a ~wholesome~ sesh with my S.O. here XD

I had the most fun dancing in the lobby than in Bloodhunt's Battle Royale matches lol

In almost every party, I make it a point to be one of the few people to leave. That's just the way I'm 'coded'. When somebody joins my stream and also joins my party, I just can't stop. I keep going until no one wants to join anymore and it's time to sleep for people in my timezone. 

But then other people come in from different timezones...

I have the energy. No problem.

I miss clubbin' too -- both virtual ones and real life!

THE problem is I shouldn't be streaming full-time. I should be uploading edited videos. And blog posts. And shorter more digestible videos. And designing merch too using themes that are on trend so it doesn't really matter if you're popular on not. And so on. 

Streaming is technically just the marketing side and I shouldn't make it THE main course, aside from doing all things in moderation and curbing my bad addiction.

Streaming shouldn't eat up majority of my time and energy.

Since I'm starting over on Twitch and Youtube when it comes to streaming, I'm thrilled again to not have any pressure to "perform", actually enjoy streaming, and just do what I plan to do for my regular edited videos.

2. Stalker Issues

From random people sneakily taking photos of me on the streets (I kinda feel that it may not be related to streaming  -- people may have just mistaken me for some Korean celeb or something I dunno, just like what happened occasionally back when I was still in college) to annoying guys who pester me in my DMs.

Don't get me wrong I like talking with people especially about gaming and anime lol.

I'm not referring to you guys, I love you. 

But if a guy kept sending low effort "hi" or worse, sending inappropriate messages, especially I'm already taken (and these creeps aren't even my type so I also feel insulted. If they look like my anime or manhwa crushes or my S.O. -- I will let it pass still reject but won't block lol. Not surprised that the good-looking ones are well-mannered, or they're often the ones who neither talk to me nor approach me first lol).

This is one of the tame non-NSFW ones, but still 🤮

I'm used to all that. But the last straw for me was having a bunch of my underwear stolen.

Jesus.

You think it only happens in manhwas?

Nope.

It's real and it's gross.

3. Active vs. Passive Income

This has been mentioned a lot of times by bigger content creators who do both Youtube and streaming like Harris Heller here. 

Originally, streaming is just me recording a video I'm making for Youtube or some other social media, or as additional visual support for my posts. 

The former can generate active income, while the latter passive income over time. The latter takes way more work actually, but I still prefer it because it isn't just a one-off thing like streaming where I have to be constantly present.

Even bigger channels like these guys in Trash Taste have similar struggles too like smaller creators, but the magnitude is times 2!

In making edited videos, you can batch produce content for the month and then upload and "forget" about them, and they're fine. As long as they're digestible, entertaining, and/or useful to somebody out there, they can generate passive income for you, unlike streaming which requires your constant presence (and a good generous audience) for you to earn from it -- unless you're wise about it and funnel your audience there to your website or some course or shop that can generate passive income for you.

I was planning for streaming to be just a side thing: since I record videos for Youtube anyway, why not stream while recording?

But because of #1 above, streaming starts eating more of my energy and time. Mainly it's energy especially since I'm an introvert, interacting with a lot of people drains me, unlike extroverts who gain energy from that activity.

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Although I enjoy streaming, more so when playing with my audience, I need to treat it as the marketing side of this whole content creation economy and also part of me being productive as early as I can like what most bigger channels, streamers, and content creators do even back when they were just starting out.

4. Audience

Speaking of audience, there's this thing in our local culture when it comes to streaming. If you're a streamer, say in the US or somewhere in Europe or Australia, viewers there know that if you're likable enough and consistent or they fancy you and what-not, they'll donate to your stream.

But here in my country, streaming culture is reversed. If they know you're from my country, and you have all these games and PC gears, they think you're well-off (nope!) and expect that you'll be the one who will donate to them for watching your streams -- this happens a lot on FB Gaming since FB's algorithm promotes your videos more to people living in the same geographic region.

It doesn't help that most local streamers encourage that behavior -- either from desperation for views, or from pride especially doing giveaways is usually associated with bigger streamers (who need to write off some amount actually for tax deduction), and doing so makes them feel like they already "made it" when that's far from reality.

I usually simply ignore those beggars and even added them on things my moderators will filter lol. But the thought that my video is being promoted to local audience that isn't really interested in my content but only for freebies, is a sign that numbers on FB are just vanity instead of quality, and I have to think twice about the platform I invest my energy on.

5. Privacy and Security

Unlike with normal videos where most things are edited out, in streaming, people tend to overshare stuff.

That's what I fear the most.

There's that constant dread about not-so-good people taking advantage of that, just like criminals using social media like Instagram to hunt down homes they can rob.

And unlike say, Hollywood and local celebrities with bodyguards 24/7, Youtubers and streamers (and even bloggers) are often just regular people who happen to grow a platform.

Conclusion

Regardless of what your goal is in streaming, whether hobby or side-hustle or business, there will come a time that as soon as you gain some traction, you'll start taking it seriously and you would definitely wish to be on the right platform.

I've been hearing "rumors" that Twitch is finally improving its discoverability for small and new streamers -- an advantage FB Gaming used to have, aside from having a relatively safer environment to stream because users tend to use their real names, unlike in Twitch and Youtube.

But the inconsistent way it handles its rules and its algo that promotes shorter form of content now aside from pushing your content to local audience (which is bad especially if you have similar case as I am in #4 above), then this is where Youtube has more advantage of since Youtube love, LOVES, longer videos with high watch time AND though it has some bias when it comes to geographic location as well and follows local trends, you have more chance to be pushed to viewers from other countries than platforms with tighter bias on geographic location like FB and Tiktok -- not to mention that Youtube doesn't sort videos based on number of views, unlike Twitch.

Why most Twitch Streamers refuse to move to Youtube

But when it comes to the livestreaming culture in general, Twitch still dominates with Harris Heller even questioning himself whether he made the right choice to move to Youtube. Youtube still hasn't fully captured that enviable culture Twitch currently enjoys, although it's awesome that Youtube is finally adopting some of Twitch' cool features like channel memberships, chat stickers and raids.

Let's see how this Twitch vs. Youtube thing go on few years from now.